Thursday, June 18, 2009

Took an Aids Test-It was a horrible experience!

From Memoirs of Madame Fellatio
Ok so I'm all about trying to have a safe sex life and decided to go into Kaiser for an "Aids Test". My doctor told me before I could take the test I had to speak with a counselor. I'm like for what? All they are going to do is draw some blood right? Wrong. I had to speak with this counselor and she played 21 questions with me. I mean she was all up in my personal business. I bullshit you not when I tell yaul the questions she asked me:
  1. How many sexual partners have you had in the your life?
  2. How many sexual partnesrs have you had in the last 6 months?
  3. In the last 6 months have you or your partner used marajuana, ecstacy, cocaine, etc.
  4. Do you practice oral sex? (hells yes I am Madame Fellatio lol.)
  5. When you practice oral sex do you let him ejaculate in your mouth? (I was like WTF? Do you let your nigga come in your mouth?)
  6. Do you have anal sex?
  7. Do you have anal sex then oral sex without a condom. (hell naul I wouldn't let nobody put their dick in my ass. And if I did I damn sure wouldn't turn around and lick my own shit!)
  8. To your knowledge has any of your sex partners had same sex intercourse? (Hell naul I'd kill a nigga dead if I found out he was on the down low lady!)
  9. Do you let him ejaculate on your body & skin surfaces? (What the hell kinda question..)
  10. Have you ingested semen in the last 6 months? (At this point this nurse must want me to slap her.)

I felt so violated with the line of questions. I even had to look at her chart a few times to see if the questions she was asking me was ligitmate. I felt like telling the lady. Look...I'm a grown ass woman doing grown ass things just take my blood so I can get the hell out of here!

The nurse even gave me homework to do before I return next week for my results. WTF HIV homework? She wants me to go and take a shower with my current partner and inspect his goodies and report back what I find. I was like WTF are you kidding me? First off I am "Madame Fellatio" ok I always "inspect the dick"! She was treating me like I already had the disease without even taking a blood sample!


Needless to say since this is Kaiser's practice.... this will be the last HIV test I'm taking from them. None the less I don't want to discourage anyone from taking sexual responsibility and knowing their HIV status. It's important. Just find a facilty that works for you!

Holla

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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousJune 21, 2009 at 2:37 PM

    I've taken HIV/AIDS tests and I'm a health professional and I must say it's normal practice to ask screening questions. It's to assess your risk, thereby giving the necessary counselling before the test is done. And it's good to make patients aware of the risks involved in sex. You may be aware of them (great!), but the next patient might not be as sexually conscious and need that talk. It's standard practice - it annoys some, but for others it brings awareness and curbs risky behaviour. Just my view as a health professional :)

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