Saturday, October 24, 2009
It really seems that way, especially if the person that says it first it the girl. Guys usually act like it gives them a pass to show their natural ass. Unfortunatley there are guys out there that think...if they say I love you first or even says it at all that they are somehow a punk, a sucka, sprung on some pussy. I don't understand this logic. It is a beautiful/natural thing to be in love with someone. Being in love isn't anything to be ashamed of, or makes you a punk, but unfortunately that is the way a lot of guys, hell even girls feel that way. I know I do. I would love to tell the person that I have feelings for that I love him first, but I just can't. I feel like I loose. Or what if he dosen't feel the same way about me, dang that would be crushing.
BTW This post is for me not yaul. LOL
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 5:22 PM
Monday, September 21, 2009
When you least expect it, after you have moved on from a love that hurt you....the "X-boyfriend" comes creeping back in your life. He tells you all the things you want to hear. He does all the right things and somewhere, somehow, you forgot about all the reasons you left his punk ass. The next thing you know you are face down sucking the dick that used to be yours.
Girlfriends...I promise you please listen to my words....that nigga is your "X" for a reason. As soon as you let him dust the cob webs off that pussy, that nigga will be right back to showing his natural ass! And the next thing you know you are back in an emotional rollercoaster, back into a whirlwhind of bullshit that you swore you would never get back into.
We've all heard the saying... if he was meant for you he will come back to you. I say fuck that shit! Remember all the hurtful things that he has done and stick to your original decision...to leave that nigga alone. See while you were apart he was thinking about you. Of course he was, your the bomb, and you probably treated him like the King he ain't! So he came back to see if he can get it back in the way he used to. Don't fall for the okey doke! You sent that nigga packing for a reason!
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 9:29 PM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Yaul saw the Whitney Houston special on Oprah. I have one question for Whitney...was the dick that good!? I have had some good dick and I hope all you ladies out there that have had some good dick will agree...AIN'T NO DICK IN THE WORLD STRONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO DO SOME CRACK. Lol. Whitney said it herself..."Crack is Wack".
In Whitney's defense Bobby Brown was the shit in the 90's I ain't gonna lie. Yaul remember how all the ladies wanted to have his nigga's baby cuz of his dance moves...pumping and thrusting in the air. All you ladies know Bobby was trying to show you what he was working with. We all knew he had some good dick! So many women wanted to have this nigga's baby, and so many women did!
I know women that Good Dick turned them from a "Phenomenal Woman" to a "stalking, calling all hours of the night, fighting baby's mamas, loosing your job from missing days at work trying find this nigga" type of a woman. If you are not a strong person...Good Dick will make you loose your mind! And if you don't know Jesus and have a good social network of girlfriends or gay friends...your ass will be just like Whitney!
You will be the one locked in a room free basing. Living with spray painted eyes on the walls, getting cussed out, publicly humiliated. You'll be the one threatened, slapped, lose your talent. You'll be the one spending all your money on that nigga and his hoes, get skinny as hell or fat as fuck from stress! And if he is a Good Dick Nigga that is a true ass hole you might just get spit on. (WTF? I wish a nigga would spit in my face in front of my kid! Bobby would have been on the floor trying to figure out that the fuck just happened. He's lucky all she did was bob him on the head and make nigga bleed.)
Moral of the story is ladies....learn from Whitney's mistake...Beware of the "Good Dick Nigga"!
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 5:00 PM
Thursday, September 10, 2009
This was a topic of discussion with my girls on who does and who doesn't fuck while bleeding. Personally I am oh so horny when I am on my cycle. I am a dick junkie when I am cycling. I just can't get enough of the dick. Depending on who my partner is, if he is down to fuck when my red river is flowing... shit I am down too. Its just wet to them until you turn on the light and the bed looks like a crime scene. LOL.
My girls think their pussy should be quarantined during "Aunt Flow's" visit. Their pussy is on lock down for 5-7 days. Why sex during your period? Because it feels good damit.
How to successfully get yours when you are on your cycle? It does take a little planning. First off...you can't go sexing your dude if your cycle is flowing like Niagra Falls. If you want to fuck on a day when you wearing those 3 inch thick pads, now is not the time! If you fuck on a day like that...your bed will look worse then when Ricky got shot in "Boyz in the Hood."
You have to do it on a day when you aren't having a heavy flow. Put a towel down on the bed or where the action is going to take place. When you are done take a shower or wipe the pussy down with baby wipes. If you wear pads be sure to pull your panties down on the side of the bed and kick them under the bed so he doesn't see all that is going on. If you wear tampons pull it out and discretely wrap it up so it doesn't stain or is visible.
Finally climb on the dick and do your thing. If your a rookie then you probably think I'm nasty cuz you just don't know any better. You veterans...yaul know what I am talking bout.
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 9:45 PM
Friday, September 4, 2009
An embarassing intimate moment....How about having toilet paper stuck in the crack of your big ole ass! LOL That shit is funny and we can all laugh about it now, but at the time, that was moment of pure embarassment. Have you ever had a sleep over with your man and you had to go pee in the middle of the night and chose not to even turn on the bathroom light? Mostly because you are so wore out and tired from the sex you just had? Well that has definately happened. When my man woke up and I was laying in bed naked with my back turned to him thinking I was sexy. He rubbed on my backside and told me I have something in the crack of my ass? OMG! Talk about a Kill Yourself moment! (Thankfully we were together for a long time and this horrible exprience wasn't with some dude I was newly intimate with.)
I can't imagine what my boo must have thought. I mean what does that say about me? That I don't know how to wipe my own ass properly? LOL. What is says is never use the restroom at your man's house and he invests in the cheap ass toilet paper and not the two ply Charmin. Now to avoid this situation ever ever happening again, I bring my own vagi wipes and take them with me to the restroom, or leave them at my man's house. And for some strange reason if I don't have any available I always double check in the mirror. Yes I spread my cheeks to make sure it's "all clear." I have to make sure I don't have any left over charmin in the crack of my ass. LOL LOL LOL.
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 9:15 PM
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Yaul know what the hell I'm talking about...dating under aged youngings. First of all it ain't dating if you are a grown ass person dating a kid that's under 18. You are a child predator. Personally I don't see what the fascination is for dating a young girl. Yeah these little chicas are growing up faster and faster these days and they got more tits and ass than "Big Mama." But come on! They are immature and can provide no conversation. And lets face it most of their couchies smell like fish and yellow crayons!
I say its wrong. Furthermore if parents know their teens are dating a grown ass person..and dosen't do anything about it, they are an unfit parent and should be sodomized and raped in jail like their kids are being done. I hope they all catch a case! How can any grown ass man, fiddle and fondle some little semi-clean labias housed in hello kitty panties? And for you women doing this...how can you fondle little semi-hairy nads that ain't even dropped yet?
I can't even do it! Wait till those little fast girls and little niggas get 18 before you shoot them the number and get them face down ass up! For real this shit gotta stop!
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 1:37 PM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Everybody knows your boo is a hoe, yet you still fuck this unfaithful person without a condom! Kill Yourself.
Don't blame it on the alcohol. You fucked at random because you are a freak sober. Kill Yourself.
You say you only date girls with pretty feet. But your feet look like you have diabetes. Kill Yourself.
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 9:53 AM
Monday, August 10, 2009
Ok ladies we have all kicked it at our man's house and then boomb! Out of nowhere we get the "bubble guts". You know what I am talking about. That rumbling in your stomach with the urgency to either pass or gas or worse you got to do number 2 maybe even a number 3. What do you do? Do you kiss your man goodbye and drive to the nearest restaurant? Or do you just say "Fuck it" and blow his bathroom up!
I think we all have been in this position a time or two. Personally...I'd rather shit in his toilet that shit on myself. My recommendation...Use the Flush as you go Dookey method. This method works.! The essence of your anals don't permiate the entire bathroom! Some other things you can do is...if there is a window open up the window before you let loose. Keep perfume in your purse and spray that when your done instead of toilet spray. If you use bathroom spray..that is a clear indicator that you was shitting in his house! And you don't want that!
The reason this is even an issue is that whether or not we want to admit it guys want to view you as sexy all the time. They want to be left wondering....does she even pass gas? Them knowing you got the dookies is anything but cute. But they can shit all up in your toilet though huh?
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 11:12 AM
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
There are men who walk away from you. When a man walks away from you: LET HIM KICK ROCKS. I don't want to try to talk a man into staying with me, love me, call me, care about me, come to see me, stay attached to me.
When a man walks away from you LET HIM KICK ROCKS. Your future is never tied to any man that left. If your man leaves you it's not that you weren't woman enough, it isn't because you didn't give him your all. It just means that their part in yoru life is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your life is over.
Remember...If a relationship takes too much effot, we don't need it, it ain't for us. Stop begging men to stay. LET HIM KICK ROCKS!
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 12:45 PM
You can have the best pussy in the world and a man will still leave you! Sex dosen't keep a nigga!
It dosen't matter what a man can do for you. It matters what you can do for yourself.
Make sure the qualities you want of your boo are qualities you posses yourself.
Posted by Madame Fellatio at 9:43 AM